Relax, Would Ya?

Learning how to relax is like learning a new language. It's not easy but can be achieved with practice and more practice. I find these days when I'm stressed it hits me like a ton of bricks. My heart rate elevates, I get antsy and have trouble focusing. Why? Because I have learned how to relax. It's been a process, has taken a lot of practice but has been sooooooo worth it. I'm almost hypersensitive to stress and worry. It's like I've quit a substance - my tolerance is down and I get intoxicated off of it in an instant.

Here are some things that have helped me learn to relax:
- believe that I'm worth having 'me' time
- decided what activities, surroundings, people bring me joy
- dedicate time daily to 'zoning' out
- exercising
- being honest with my feelings, not holding things in
- trying to keep myself organized
- sending out positive energy to others
- yoga
- hydration

My best friend gave me the most valuable book a few years back - "How to Stop Worrying and Start Living". Just looking at the book is a wake up call. Worry is the root (in my opinion) to illness, stress and lack of energy. Some of us say "we can't help it" or "that's just the way I am". However, teaching yourself to focus on the controllable factors i.e. your reactions to events, persons, situations is achievable. Again, takes practice!

Why write about this? To remind myself to relax, manage stress and shift my focus. That's all.

Swimming and Swinging

This morning, Mike and I hit the pool for some more swim training. He's getting more and more comfortable in the water and I'm loving every minute of the lap swimming. Much needed change from the running.

Well, enough of that....

Today was my 1st private pole dancing class! Yay! I'm back and soooo glad as I left the class sweaty, jellowy and excited for the next 8 weeks. As we reviewed some techniques, it was a different feeling not to have Becs by my side. I giggled to myself as I did some hip rolls on the wall thinking about Becs' travelling hands and hip rolls. Hehe.

We capped my 1st session off with a routine which set the bar for the rest of my training. That's right - I'm training to be sexy. It's not easy...

I am planning on focusing my classes on routines and choreography as I told my instructor that "I feel as though I'm a good dancer and sexy in my head but sometimes it doesn't translate to the floor"... As we chuckled - she said that I have the hardest part beat - usually people have a hard time BELIEVING that they're a good dancer or sexy. No, not me!

Run Stephanie Run

I just got back from my first intense 15km run. Mike decided that we should be training on more hills so at 8am this morning we set off. He has this new way of warming up for us called 'striders' where you typically try increasing your stride to open up your hips and warm up the muscles. As I look like a complete moron doing it - it makes for a good laugh at the start of a 1hour and 40 minute adventure. Our first hill adventure was Sherwood Rd (from lower malpeque to brackley point). I started off very confident and almost thinking "come on, where's the challenge". Almost... As we run by the Humane Society, I am discussing the delightful possibilities of adopting a dog someday that I can hook to my waist and have run along with us. Ahh... to dream. As we pass by Island Construction I'm thinking "oh I miss Bec, wonder what she's doing now...." and then I say - "jeez Mike this isn't that hard". He smirks and nods. Then like a ton of bricks - the wall hit and I was doing everything I could just to keep forward motion. Note to self: Don't ever think something is too easy, enjoy the moment....
We then made our way to Brackley Point Road and enjoyed the new (or new to me) Multipurpose trail. We chatted, settled in and were taking in the awesome morning. At about the 4th hill we encountered I started feeling this burning sensation in my hamstrings. Never have felt this before... I continue pushing through but at the point of me dragging my legs behind me and going at a snail's pace Mike suggests we walk out the "cramping" that I'm experiencing..

CRAMPING??? IS THIS WHAT CRAMPING FEELS LIKE? All these times where I thought cramping was a charlie horse. I have never felt anything like it.

We walked for approx 7mins as I did some more striders, contemplated life and tried to visualize myself making it home in one piece. After the walk, I had this adrenaline rush hit. I started running like the wind and Mike was saying behind me "SLOW DOWN, THIS IS NOT OUR TRAINING PACE" as I was running down hills, up hills, on Winsloe Road. Nothing could stop me.

We finished and I had such a sense of accomplishment, I felt like Dennis in "Run Fat Boy Run". Mike admitted that he never thought that I would be doing this 1/2 Marathon as my attitude was so poor last year. Can't wait til October 18th - it's going to be an awesome day!

Enjoy this clip from "Run Fat Boy Run" - What a great movie! Show's anyone can do it with determination and guts.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IcTNIAWetRI

Fitness Log:
Sunday - Hot Yoga
Monday -Run 5km
Tuesday - Swimming with Mike
Wednesday - 10km run
Thursday - Hot Yoga
Friday - Rest
Saturday -Rest
Sunday 15km

The Wedding Dreams...

Lately I have been having dreams or possibly 'nightmares' that I'm not prepared for my wedding day. Whether it's been the big day and I don't have the Church booked or it's the big day and I forget to wear my wedding dress (go figure?), or better yet - it's the big day and I marry the wrong man by accident - these dreams are really starting to freak me out! During the daylight hours I'm calm, happy, and comfortable with my premarital experience. Whereas in the REM sleep hours I'm missing the bus, looking hideous and unorganized....

So my typical Type A personality is freaking out about the unorganization in my dream. I'm waking up disappointed in myself for not having the deets completely set. I'm waking up saying "Thank God that's not going to happen on the Big Day". I'm thinking about the details I have yet to iron out.

WHY, WHY, WHY am I torturing myself at night? Hmmm...

Today, being fed up with the craziness of these dreams, I googled "What do dreams about not being prepared on your wedding day mean?" True Story.

Google's answer - Preparing your mind set for the future. Prior to actual wedding: To be expected.

Balance

Lately my day timer is busting at the seams. With each day full of chicken scratchings - random names, reminder's, notes to self, appointments and meetings, I have to be very careful that I keep Balance in my life. Mike and I leave eachother notes on our whiteboard in the kitchen daily. Just to say "I'm thinking of you", this morning's note went a little something like this:
"Don't live here anymore (referencing me not being home for supper in a week), Don't sleep in the same bed (referencing me falling asleep on the couch watching an online show, waking up at 4am - stiff, sore and tired)... You get the note drift.

WAKE UP CALL!!

I always say to him that "Don't worry, it will slow down next week" OR "I HAVE to do this stuff". When in all reality, it won't slow down and I don't have to do this 'stuff'. Bottom Line: The busier I am, the more I do.

Having Balance in my life is something I've been striving for, well....my whole life. I tend to submerse myself in things and forget to nurture my relationship, friendships, and self. So for Mike's 35th birthday next week, I am going to give him the gift of "me". Me focused when he's talking to me, Me living in the moment and Me rested, nourished (haven't had a good supper in a week - wonder why?) and healthy.

This weekend I've decided I'm going to take some time to myself. It could be the last weekend for a while that I get some down time. I plan on not making plans. I intend to relax, sleep, watch TV, Run, Hot Yoga, Swim and organize myself. Not too exciting but needed.

Stephanie - 1

Yes it's true - Rebecca has moved....Noooooooo.......!!!!

I feel as though I've lost my left arm, we've become so close over the past year that it's hard to believe that I won't get to see her daily, train, laugh and joke and just 'know' she's there. I miss you already Becs!

Yesterday was my 1st run with Becs gone. I initially decided to do a 16k but as I started going, I realized that I had bit off more than I could chew for the day. Without Becs' constant 'aches and pains' groans beside me, all I had to focus on was my own aches/pains. I didn't realize how beneficial it was for me to have her suffering beside me (sorry becs, it's true). I solely focused on her during the runs and that was good for me. So, as I got to about 6kms I knew that it was only a 10k day. I was slightly dissapointed that my mind took over and I couldn't refocus but I also knew that I was doing hot yoga 1.5hours later and needed to hydrate before. I made it through the rest of the run and with every step (I know, dramatic!) it became a reality that my training partner was gone:(

After the run as I went home to prepare for Yoga, the doorbell rang. I pranced to the front door thinking it was Mike coming home from swimming. I opened the door and much to my dismay 2 girls were standing there....
"So, you're a biker?" Girl
"Well, I guess you could say that" Me
"Have you ever considered the Kingdom that is talked about in the Lord's Prayer" Girl
At this point I knew... Jehovah's Witnesses... I made a concious choice to listen, have an open mind, respect them and try to understand what they're doing...
"No, not really" Me (so insightful, haha)
Erin (JW, as she introduced herself) then read me a scripture about the Kingdom... to inspire me, I guess...
"Well, that's nice Erin" Me
"You know, Armageddon IS coming" Erin
"Well, that's just great..." Me (to me Armageddon has already occured - BOTH sisters are GONE)
"Have you ever thought of the end of the world" Erin
"No, I try not to think of the end of the world" Me
"Well there will be peace and you don't have to be scared" Erin
This conversation went on for approx 10mins. I was enlightened by Scripture readings and wisdom. I respected them and felt good about that. I don't fully understand their method to 'door to door' teachings/recruitment but "whatever floats your boat".
In the spirit of seeittryit - I tried listening and not avoiding, can't say that I was inspired enough to join along and I did give a 'shout out' to my Protestant religion.

This weekend was great - swimming, running, yoga, hanging out with Mike and 2 great movies. Life is good:)

The "Real" Moksha Yoga

Mike and I had tried and practiced Moksha Yoga last spring in anticipation for the new studio to be built on Prince Street. What a treat it was yesterday to finally experience the 'real' Moksha Yoga. In a room heated to approx 45 degrees celcius, Mike and I were glad we went early to adjust to the heat. Laying in shavashna for approx 15mins, I - at first - was not sure how the 60min class would go (feeling hot and clammy). I was pleasantly surprised to see Mike laying still and calm for the entire 15mins. As my eyes darted around the room, he was in a coma like state beside me. I could tell I hadn't practiced in a while as I had a hard time centering myself.
So then it began....In the 1st 5mins I could feel myself sweating at a rate I haven't sweated (not sure that's a word) before. I soon relaxed and had this pain-free, loose feeling all over my body. I could feel myself detoxifying and lengthening. By minute 20 - I was dripping sweat at a fast rate and as I held downward dog the water streamed into my nostrils giving me the "water up the nose" sensation. I look around and everyone was breathing hard and sweaty just like me. As we went into the pidgeon pose, I was bombarded with sweat in my eyes (Goggles and noseplug would have been nice). By minute 60 I felt better than I ever had before. I understood the concept of hot yoga and appreciated the blissful feeling I had. What an amazing experience.
The rest of the day I felt awesome - skin was soft and smooth, hair shiny, muscles loose and energy high!
I intend to practice hot yoga for september (unlimited sessions for $40 - steal) and probably continue on for the winter. It is so refreshing and awesome that I could be on the verge of addicted.....