The Trial

I think I'm finally ready to write about it.  It's taken me a while as it's a big deal in a 'soon to be bride's' life.  The hair and makeup trial............

I was soooo excited going to my hair and make up trial last week. I had chose an 'Old Hollywood' look as I felt the need to have something 'special' done with my short hair.  I was thrilled as my best friend and MOH was able to come with me for support.

My hairstylist and I giggled with anticipation and proudness as she was going to, for the first time since hair school, do pin curls and I was so pleased with myself that I had a 'plan'.  Really, what did I expect - I am a planner....

2 hours later I left the salon a Myrna Loy (30's Queen of Hollywood) vision.  Hair styled, fake eyelashes, peachy cheeks and a grin ear to ear as I had been transformed.  As I arrived home I tried calling my mom a couple of times to see if she was available for me to show off my look.  No answer.  I then called my MOH to see if she was free (she had to leave early from the appt).  No answer.  I then called Mike to see if he could come home to see my hairstyle.  He answered however wanted it to be a surprise on the 'big day' so didn't come.  I then loaded the pics I had of my style onto the computer, washed my hair out, stripped the fake lashes off 1 by 1 and headed out for the evening.

When I got home later that evening, remembering that I left a pic on the computer desktop, I asked Mike if he had seen it.  He shook his head 'yes' and so I asked "Welllll, what did you think?"  The look on his face was the "I don't know what to say" look.  "It's different" he says.  So then I knew, he didn't like it.........

After a few minutes of him expressing that he wasn't sure how to put his feelings into words about the style - he has a "I've got it!" moment.  To sum it up:  he didn't like the slicked 1 side to my hair, didn't like the front as the 30's era is his least favorite of all eras, thought my clip was too big for the length of my hair, thought the makeup colors didn't suit me - touch too pale, and thought I looked too done up.

For a man who didn't have the words, he soon found them....

Shocked and disappointed - I appreciated his honesty.  Then I got upset.  Solely because the ONLY person I care who likes what I look like is HIM.  In my desperation I kept saying "what am I going to do now" (guess I don't like to divert from the plan..), "I have to start ALL over again", "I will have to spend another $120 bucks to get this done", "why didn't you tell me you didn't like the 30's style's"...  I'm sure I went on and on as I have a tendency to beat my thoughts into the ground and then step on them again.

Note:  In his defense, I never asked him if he liked the 30's idea in the 1st place.

After a panicked call to my mom about the hairstyle.  I soon realized that he wasn't the only one who wasn't a fan of the style.  I just kept thinking - how can I be sooo wrong about this!  I really wanted to have a unique and different style.  I really wanted to be glammed out as I figure this is my day to do it.  I really love the 'over the top' things.  Jewels, makeup, hair, dress, shoes....can't be too flashy.  Well folks - I guess it can...

My lessons:  Mike just wants me to look like me on our day.  I should be secure enough to get married looking like myself and not trying to be sooo different that my true self is masked with pin curls and false lashes.  I need a 'softer' look, natural and sophisticated.  NOT Reece Witherspoon in "Water for Elephants". 

So, I've decided to try a 2nd trial and to still have a uniqueness to my look just not too 'over the top'.  Glad I went to this trial and found out that it wasn't for me BEFORE the big day.  I'm sure (as Mike has told me 1,000,000 times after this whole schmazle) that he would like any look I have for the wedding but at least now I'll walk down the aisle as me and not Ginger Rogers.

I Finally Got A Score on 11.4

60.  My score on 11.4

After a scoreless 11.1,2 and 3 - it felt grreeeatt to finally get on the board.  11.4 workout was the following:

AMRAP in 10mins of
60 Bar bell burpees
30 Overhead Squats at 90lbs
10 Muscle Ups

As I knew that I can't do the 90lb overhead squats or muscle ups - I set my goal to do the 60 Burpees.  I emailed a trainer the night before I did the workout to schedule a judge (couldn't go at the normal competition time) and stated my goal to him.  I thought I might as well get it down on paper so that I can't chicken out or give up when the goin' get's tough.

Again, I didn't get to experience the group competition atmosphere as I was the ONLY one doing this workout on this day.  The newbies were learning their skills and I was in the corner sucking wind trying to get the 60 burpees.  I did.  In 8:08mins.  I dragged myself to the nearest bench and then the judge says "get to your overhead squats".  I thought - NO WAY - as it wasn't part of my plan but in true Crossfit style - it ain't over till the time's up!  I lifted a 55lb bar overhead and legs gave out (fatigue) and I crashed to the floor.  The judge encouraged me to go again and this was about the time I started getting pissed.  I got the bar overhead, did 1 1/2 squat, where I then hear him say "lower Steph" and then "30seconds!".  Maybe it was anger, maybe adrenaline but the last one I did I got to full depth.

I was never so happy to hear "TIME!!"

So there, I did it.

MISSING:  Stephanie's Spunk and Vigor
If found, REWARD:  A SMILE :)

I've been struggling lately to find my true self.  I'm lost in a sea of tasks, appointments, meetings and fatigue.  I miss myself - the positive, energetic, happy go lucky, bounce in my step, sway in my hips, person.  I've turned into a tired, bags under the eyes, somewhat touchy, uninspired Stephanie. Boooourns!

I guess months of working nonstop has caught up to me. It happens to me every year though - this year feels worse but that's just probably because I'm here now.  I need some inspiration and sunshine in my life. 
That's it!!  It's probably the lack of bright sunshiny days!  Eureka!

I need to figure out a way to fulfill my workaholic desires AND stay healthy and energetic.... Believe me, I'm not really complaining - just a little.  I love my life and I can say I've been honestly living.  I have the bags to prove it!

11.3

 

The above picture is one of my 15 attempts to squat clean and press 110 pounds for the Crossfit Open Competition - workout 11.3.  The workout was a "AMRAP" (as many rounds as possible) for 5mins.   My total score was 0.

And here's the details.

As a registered competitor for the Crossfit Open, I have completed 0 workouts to date (out of 3).  Mike registered me to compete as I tried the 1st workout in a regular class and got through it.  My goal for this competition is to get a score on the board.  I have 3 more chances to achieve this goal.  

When this workout was released on Tuesday night, I knew that it would take a miracle for me to achieve a rep.  My PR to date was 55lbs so this weight would be double what I have proven I can do or have even attempted.  From Wednesday till this morning, I contemplated even trying it.  Who do I think I am thinking I can achieve this?  To be honest - I was 'iffy' as to what I believed.  It's hard to know what you can do when you've never tried.

Sheepishly I joined the other competitors this morning hoping I would blend into the back ground while we were warming up.  I had a little confidence boost when another female had already tried this workout and didn't achieve a rep so I thought "well at least I won't be the only one".  During the warm up phase I squat cleaned and pressed 65lbs - a new PR for me.  I went over to the 110lb bar and attempted a high pull to 'get the feel for it'.  As I found the deadlift/high pull tough - I instantly knew - this would be the most challenging thing that I've done in a looonnnnggg time!

Watching the more experienced Crossfitters do this workout and seeing some achieve awesome results and others struggle, my confidence started to fade.  I also noticed other regular Crossfitters looking on and cheering - most stronger than me.   As one lady asked me if I wanted to go in round 2 I declined and decided to go in Round 3.  Little did I know, I was the ONLY one to go in Round 3.  

I started with the judge and Mike by my side as the rest of the crew cleared out.  Some deciding to tackle the regular WOD and others calling it a day.  Fading into the background strategy worked, however it was a different feel to be on my own and not have the energy behind me of the rest of the group.

I attempted 15+ squat cleans and time after time failed just as I tried to get my elbows and body under the bar.  At one point I said "I can't" to where the judge said "Don't say that word - you just didn't do it this time, doesn't mean it won't happen...".  Great advice.

I was frustrated as I came on to minute 3 and then felt this incredible urge to keep going.  At the end, I had a touch of embarrassment as I received a 0 and wished I had gone with the rest of the group so that I had the enthusiasm around me.  

I knew I wasn't ready for the weight today but I'm of the mindset that it's better to try and fail then to not try at all.  After the 110lb attempts, I stripped off some weight and set a new PR of 85lbs squat clean.

Well, I chalk this one up to "at least I tried" motto.  Better luck next time. But I did raise my PR by 30lbs. Success I say!

"Try and fail but don't fail to try" - Stephen Kaggwa