Poppo's Marriage Tips

We have a lot to learn from our elders.  My Grandfather "Poppo" loves sharing his marriage wisdom.  As he and my Grammie were married for 69years - I would consider him a Marriage Guru.  Really - how often do you hear of couples standing the test of time and that length of time?

My grandparents were married young and spent a lot of their early married life apart.  Poppo at war and Grammie at home taking care of children and the house.  Their love was to be admired throughout their marriage.  They shared the same interests, they had their own 'inside jokes', they believed in traditional roles and thrived in them, they presented a united front for their children (from my experiences, perception) they were loyal to eachother and respected eachother.

My Poppo loves to talk about my Grammie.  Everytime he mentions her he smiles and tears up.  We were at coffee this morning and he was asking me what it felt like to be a married woman.  My first emotion was that I was feeling sad about changing my last name to Chaloner.  Only because I've been "Stephanie Gee" for almost 31years.  I had a love, hate relationship with my last name.  Many times people would pronounce it "Guy" or say "Stephanie Wha?" or write "Stephanie G.", "Stephanie Geek" was a common childhood occurrence.  "Stephanie Gee Hover", "Stephanie Gee Willikers", "Gee Stephanie!" and the list goes on.  I accomplished a lot as Stephanie Gee.  I'm proud of my family and loved having the family name.  "So why change?" my Poppo asks....  Good question.

I respect tradition and love my husband.  I'm proud of being married to him and will proudly represent the "Chaloner's".  I respect 'our' family.  I tear up as I'm explaining this at Walmart McDonald's and my Poppo tears up thinking of my Grammie.  We're a great pair.  haha.

Shelly, our wedding photographer (and friend), mentioned my Poppo in her latest blog. http://photographybyshelly.ca/blog/mike-stephanie/ She said it touched her to see the love for my grandmother and when asked what's the secret to a long lasting marriage, with tears in his eyes, he says "You have to be a good listener".

Today, Poppo wanted to share more advice.  He says "If you and your husband get into an argument, walk away for a few minutes, you may be able to see a different side".  "Don't hold onto things, laugh your arguments off".  "Never go to bed without saying I love you".  This is when we both were crying.
"Respect your husband/wife", "Don't talk down to them".

Everyone deserves the love and marriage that my grandparents shared.  Their marriage was a great model for me and after my few "false starts" (as my Dad would say), I held out for something like they have.  I found it and now it's our job (Mike and I) to keep it.

I've heard people say before that "Marriage won't change things - won't solve your problems".  I'm glad because I don't want things to change.

At 90 years old and 69 years of marriage Poppo still loves my Grammie like the day he met her.  I think it's so sweet that he still gets emotional, she can still make him laugh, smile or tug at his heart strings.  He  almost forgot his coffee sticker off the side of his cup this morning.  He says "Oh Jeez Freda (Grammie) would kill me if I forgot this"  "She was great at counting pennies".  And that's why they have/had so many.  What a woman!