Yesterday marked 2 months until I say "I DO". It's hard to believe that I'll be a married woman in less than 60 days.
I've dreamt all my life about being married. Not the wedding. In fact, I never visualized the event. Had no clue as to what 'colors' I'd like or what my dress would look like, really none of the details were visualized - so the process has been interesting for me.
Bought my dress in Vegas - 2nd one I tried on. Makes it easier when you don't have a 'vision' in mind to try to live up to.
Decided to go with an 'enchanted forest' theme as I saw it in a magazine right after we got engaged. Visualize trees, flowers, and of course, touches of bling. Looks good to me....Check!
Luckily my mom is crafty and so I've left most of the creative vision to her. Again, helps when you don't have a 'vision' to live up to. Do you want pink, green? She'd ask. Whatever you think looks good Mom... Might be challenging to her but easy for me:)
What I have visualized is having a husband who's my life partner and best friend. With Mike I've never had to lower my expectations in our relationship. In fact, I believe he's exceeded every one. He's been a best friend to me, he's kept me 'in check', he expects more from me (that I could expect from myself), he pushes me to be 'better'. He's broke me out of the samey, samey and into the seeittryit lifestyle - which is quite funny as he was used to living samey, samey before meeting me. Funny how the right 'one' can do that to you...
I can say, with 100% certainty, that he is the right one. I can't wait to May 29th (day after we're married) to officially start our life together.
Ok, I know, GAG! :)
Tuesday, March 29, 2011
Tuesday, March 22, 2011
The Golden Feeling
What can I say - it feels really good to finally win.
This past weekend myself and the Synchro Team were in Toronto competing at the Eastern/Atlantic Divisional Meet. We had set a goal of improving from the last performance they had. We were up against a Quebec Team that, from watching them in practice, looked good. So as any coach would, I decided that we had to "kill it" and aim for improvement. The rest should fall into place.
As the Quebec team swam, I watched in amazement at some of their interesting choreographed moves. I noticed synchronization errors and hoped the judges weren't going to enjoy their 'clean' looking performance over our 'intense, splashy (ier) routine.
As the girls lined up, I was already proud of them. They looked great, appeared confident and energized. What more could I ask for. In my mind, we had already won.
The girls swam a lovely performance - they came to compete. Patterns that I had never seen on were on, energy that I didn't know they had came through. We had just made changes to the routine and the girls swam these sections like they had been doing it for months.
As we waited for our marks, I was smiling ear to ear as I knew they had done their best. As the scores were being read, I couldn't believe my ears....69.712 overall. Our goal was to improve upon the 64 and change that they earned at Games. 5 points higher - Amazing. I could then hear screaming from the stands and as I turned around, I knew we won. The parents and other coaches were on their feet so proud and ecstatic.
"We won!" I yelled to the girls who were swimming over to the side, unaware of their achievement.
I have been waiting for this feeling for a long time. It was so sweet. Mainly because I wasn't expecting it and because the girls were so innocent in their win.
Congratulations to the athletes and coaches who worked so hard to get these girls to this point. Bravo!
This past weekend myself and the Synchro Team were in Toronto competing at the Eastern/Atlantic Divisional Meet. We had set a goal of improving from the last performance they had. We were up against a Quebec Team that, from watching them in practice, looked good. So as any coach would, I decided that we had to "kill it" and aim for improvement. The rest should fall into place.
As the Quebec team swam, I watched in amazement at some of their interesting choreographed moves. I noticed synchronization errors and hoped the judges weren't going to enjoy their 'clean' looking performance over our 'intense, splashy (ier) routine.
As the girls lined up, I was already proud of them. They looked great, appeared confident and energized. What more could I ask for. In my mind, we had already won.
The girls swam a lovely performance - they came to compete. Patterns that I had never seen on were on, energy that I didn't know they had came through. We had just made changes to the routine and the girls swam these sections like they had been doing it for months.
As we waited for our marks, I was smiling ear to ear as I knew they had done their best. As the scores were being read, I couldn't believe my ears....69.712 overall. Our goal was to improve upon the 64 and change that they earned at Games. 5 points higher - Amazing. I could then hear screaming from the stands and as I turned around, I knew we won. The parents and other coaches were on their feet so proud and ecstatic.
"We won!" I yelled to the girls who were swimming over to the side, unaware of their achievement.
I have been waiting for this feeling for a long time. It was so sweet. Mainly because I wasn't expecting it and because the girls were so innocent in their win.
Congratulations to the athletes and coaches who worked so hard to get these girls to this point. Bravo!
Wednesday, March 16, 2011
Heart Chi
Yesterday as I was laying on the acupuncturists table, while checking my pulse he states "Your pulse is slow". "Oh yeah" I respond "What's that supposed to mean?". "Well, means your Heart Chi is weakened" (as he pounds his chest).
Heart Chi - well that's a new one....
He then begins to check the 'points' for tenderness and I appeared tender all over. He then asks me "Have you been working out a lot lately?".... I did just put in my 2 best weeks at CrossFit (5x/week). "Yes". "Well Stephanie, it shows" (by my pulse rate). Happy that 'it showed' but concerned about my 'weakened heart chi' I lay there trying to take it all in....
As he began putting the needles in - to some new places - he went on to discuss that my heart is tired. How depressing. The 10x of intense CrossFit, coaching full time, pole dancing, working full time, wedding planning, meetings, etc has left my heart tired. For fertility reasons he says "I got to tone it down".
BALANCE or lack thereof - seems to be a recurring theme in my life.
I knew I was getting to the 'burn out' stage of my year as I have been extremely fatigued (tired heart). I was going to bed at 9:00pm and getting up at 5:15am still tired. I would be sluggish through my day. My patience was compromised. I have bags under my eyes. With all of this my muscles have felt much better. Soreness decreasing, strength I didn't know I had.
As I arrived home yesterday from my appointment, I was sad. My heart chi was low, I love the high intensity. It's addicting. But in premature ovarian failure recovery (if there is such a thing) it's not as great as I thought. I risk throwing my cycle completely off if I don't 'tone it down'.
Thanks Daniel for looking out for me - it was a friendly reminder that I was thankful to get.
So - he's not saying not exercise or do nothing - just switch up the intensity of my workouts and lifestyle. If I'm going 'full tilt' in my regular life - may not be the best time to do the most classes I've ever done IF I want to reproduce.
I knew I was working hard but didn't realize my 'ticker can't take it'.
Sunday, March 6, 2011
The Dried Fruit Debacle
My Naturopath suggested dried fruit for a work time snack (as I snack A LOT at work). In my committed, organic, gluten free, sugar free mind - I headed to Costco while in Halifax cheering on Team PEI Synchro (YAY team!) to purchase some bulk organic treats. I came across a fruit and nut medley and in my naive mind I thought "dried fruit is dried fruit no worries here..." and purchased a huge bag for $13 and change. $250.00 later - I had purchased enough snacks for at least 2 months. Gotta love Costco!
My first day back to work from my mini vacay I hoed into the dried fruit. It was glorious, drops of heaven in my mouth, chewy goodness, enough salt on the peanuts, the best raisins I've ever tasted. Next day at work, same thing however I decided to share the wealth (sharing means caring..:) ) with my coworker. More for me, some for him - I was so pleased bragging how tasty the fruit was and that it is good for you. Day 3 - I got Mike to try some and he was super pumped on how awesome it tasted. I again took a sandwich bag to work and a bag for my coworker - mouth starting to get sore from the fruity goodness - I soldiered on and consumed another big bag of the sweet stuff.
I arrived home from work that night and was talking about the fruit and nut medley again (should have at this point realized there was a problem) to Mike and at this point he says "it just can't be natural it tastes TOO good!". Brushing him off in denial - I said - "Nope, it's ALL good!" and we went about our bizness. About 15mins later, second guessing myself I went and checked the bag for the ingredients....
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!! I screamed. It's FULL of sugar!!! Mike says "I knew it!"
As I read through the ingredients, every piece of fruit had SUGAR as the second ingredient..... I had been eating fake sugar (which I've been off since January 3rd) for 3 days in a row. I had consumed a 1/4 of the bag and enjoyed every minute of it.
I immediately was overcome with emotion, tears welling up, and I was soooo disappointed in myself for not checking the ingredient list (as I do with all the foods I eat now) but realized it was an honest mistake. I didn't mean to eat the 'forbidden' foods but it does go to show that the sugar has a hold on me. The bingeing/self control went out the window, yet again, and I was a victim to the sweetness.
It's now gone out of the house and I can say I'm happy. The bag was staring me down day after day taunting me but I didn't give in. This is my life. Every meal is a choice and test of will - it's exhausting.
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